Existentialism

Spent all day in bed with food poisoning–finally down to mild nausea, and I am able to draw without feeling dizzy. Score!

Just for fun, a self portrait!

This is me left to my own devices.

What’s YOUR contribution to the suffering (or alleviation thereof) in the world?

What token gestures have YOU made towards self-betterment? (Using fewer paper towels?? Gave a dollar to a busker?? Working out??) I am toying with vegetarianism, personally!

Ultimately, will it be enough?

Have you read any comments on youtube, the news, etc recently? …They can’t ALL be fake!

Mostly, though, I think I can safely determine I am not an autotroph when it comes to emotional energy. In rehearsals, for instance, or when I am with friends, I am ON TOP OF THE WORLD! Biking hard is another quick fix, but it’s always night-time or raining lately. It’s times like the past 3 months that I miss college/high school!

Finally, a little formless poem:

The Boy Downstairs

I hear him through the floor all day
Playing Stairway to Heaven
He’s actually quite good–
Playing one song exclusively will do that.
When his parents go to sleep
He lights up the dankest weed
The smoke floats in through my windows.
Boy downstairs! You’re like fifteen!
How can you even afford this habit???

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10 responses to “Existentialism

  1. Food poisoning! Great poem, feel better

    The Tuckerbag

  2. Oh man, sorry you have food poisoning. What a bummer.

    I, personally, yell at people about feminism. That is how I improve the world. That and growing some of my own produce.

    Btw I miss you! I wish we lived closer so I could go see you cabaret!

    • Yelling about feminism is always good, though I do not often get the chance, associating with no one/fellow feminists! I grow many potted plants, but food is not one of them–I thought I was growing a coffee plant for a few years, but now it is making pink flowers and weird non-coffee-berries.

      No worries about the cabaret! Cambridge is a little out of your way!

  3. My token gestures toward self-betterment/contributing anything include making kiva loans and buying locally grown/farmer’s market produce where possible. I’ve toyed with the idea of becoming a big sister but I’m vaguely uncomfortable with gendered programs. And children.

    I think concern about the world contributes to why I CONTINUE being a vegetarian and non-driver, although I originally became vegetarian out of picky-eaterness, and didn’t learn to drive out of a combination of laziness and crippling I’m-gonna-run-over-a-pedestrian anxiety.

    • Kiva loans! I do those. And purchasing locally grown produce! That is another thing I do! Good points–we are good people!

      Vegetarianism is a hard sell for me only because I am the opposite of a picky eater, and I in fact love meat (not conceptually, of course, just as a food). Hear hear to driving. I can drive, and I have driven, but I don’t regret getting rid of my car and turning to public transportation. Driving is NO FUN…I mean terrible for the environment!

  4. What a horrible expression!

    World contributions include being a teacher & a bro to baby queers, practicing general “be kind and not a dick to others” attitude, trying to save water/electricity, not driving (for a variety of reasons, of course), educating myself and other people about a variety of social justice issues, making art that hopefully accomplishes some of these things.

  5. takinthelongway

    I work in development. I “live the dream” and often still wonder if my presence here is any more meaningful than if I, say, moved back to America and promised to use dish rags instead of disposable paper towels until I finish graduate school.

    Glad you’re feeling healthier. Sorry you’re in an “I miss high school/college” funk. I sort of am, too. Blargh.

    • Even YOU can feel this way? That is no good! Either it is a state which is unrelated to circumstance, or we are too smart to think a drop in the sea (or even a gallon in the sea) is very much! : (

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