Monthly Archives: May 2011

A Smiling Woman



We’re drinking coffee.
“It’s really a social drink, isn’t it?”
I agree.
“Or you can have it alone, but traditionally, I mean.”
I agree.
She’s telling me about this dream
She had
Which was disturbing for reasons unclear
“Dreams can be that way,” I say
And she looks relieved
I guess that means we’re on the same wavelength, she and I.
“I KNOW, right? And you wake up and you’re just—“
She waves her hands
I make a sympathetic face
I really should have gone for the chai, but I always get it
(Because I like it better)
But there’s still the ‘atmosphere’ here;
Really funky. Really fun.
A bit much.
“And when you think about it, nothing scary actually happened in them,
“Like this one, how there was just this,”
She polishes her glasses, “this completely empty stable,”
I interrupt, “And you were worried the horses would come back
“and they’d know you weren’t supposed to be there, yes.”
“Exactly! And they never even came back! Ha ha ha!”
The teenager at the next table has been trying to burst a pimple on his temple
On the sly
For the last three minutes. His date is answering a text and this may be his chance
At last. I notice my old friend’s friend has stopped talking (still smiling)
“Mmm,” I say, and she is off again
“It’s funny, because I actually really love horses!
“I actually tried to convince my parents to buy me one when I was a little girl
“But they said we didn’t have room,”
“Horses do need a lot of room” I say in a fair’s-fair way
(Shannon, her hostess, gets off of work when? 3:00?)
“Oh, I know that now,” She laughs
“I also tried to get them to send me to summer camp, just because I liked the concept,”
She rolls her eyes,
“I would have hated it, in retrospect, but I was so mad at them then!”
I have finished my coffee, but fein sipping from the empty paper cup, nodding.
“I actually hate camping,” She says, and, for a time, explains.
“So next time he offers, I’m just going to say ‘NO WAY, KENT!’ Period. End of discussion.”
“Okay.” Something in my tone gives me away.
“Oh! I’m sorry for rambling on like this, aww,” She pats my hand.
“So patient. How did we even start TALKING about camping? It’s just like a string of consciousness!”
God DAMN it
I can’t!—
She just!—
I spit out,

A Girly Girl

Amazing how the right color scheme can transform a run-of-the-mill attractive woman into a veritable PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS. Observe:


I was reluctant to put this paper up, as it is so much worse than the others. It makes me cringe. I remember typing it up the night before it was due (some things never change). I think it was fourth grade, my third school of the year (I moved around a lot as a little kid!). It may even have been my first science project–a weak excuse, but bear with me!


As you should know, I am doing a project on the freezing time of different liquids, so that is what my research is about. Continue reading


Selections from “MY REPORT ON DEEP SEA” (circa fifth grade?)

Welcome to the icy depths of the deep sea. A place where the sun can not reach. A place called…. “The twilight zone”. It’s really called that, and I plan on giving my report on that and below. First of all, you had better be in a pressurized submarine or you will be crushed by the weight of thousands of feet of water above you. Continue reading


I was cleaning out some old boxes in my parent’s house and came across old papers, written by ME when I was in elementary school! One of them was about Louisiana. I hope you find it informative!

Excerpts from “LOUISIANA”

“The state is called Louisiana after King Louie the 14th. We Bought Louisiana (and much more land) for $5,000,000 from Napoleon who was short on cash from fighting wars, and buying crowns, and robes, and whatnot. Of course we all know that from that lesson on the LOUISIANA PURCHASE. Any who, in more recent times (~well about 100 years ago) Jazz was invented.”

“Any who” is a great segway! Why did I ever stop using it in my academic papers?? Also that paragraph stops short right there, start new paragraph on Yellow Fever (not included). Continue reading

More Mazes!

These are so much fun to make!

Look at this cool effect!!