Monthly Archives: April 2011

If the Shoe Fits

So, I was in the restroom the other day. But wait! That’s not all!

While I was in my stall, I overheard a pair of women having a conversation at the sinks. It went like so:

Loud Woman: Oh my GOD. These shoes are LITERALLY killing my feet!

(Nothing like a figurative literal to catch my eavesdropping ears!)

Sympathetic Woman: Oh nooo! What’s wrong with them??

LW: I’m not sure! I’m hoping it’s just that I’m not used to flats, because I wear heels all the time.

SW: Aww

LW: Or maybe it’s just because they’re new and I’ll get used to them. Ouch.

SW: What part of your feet hurts?

LW: My toes. My toes feel really cramped.

SW: Ohh, that’s the worst. Where’d you buy them?

LW: Online. I’m a size 10 but they only had up to size 9, so I got that. They fit just fine–they just really hurt! Ah well.

(they leave!)

Diagnosis: An over-liberal interpretation of “fit”!

I also had the good fortune to endure a thirsty mom at the next table during lunch. The cashier did not hand her a cup for her soda because you are supposed to grab your own (they are RIGHT THERE). This thirsty mom spent the whole meal making smacking sounds and dry coughs and HINTING to her husband and teenaged sons to get her a cup, because she was afraid of the cashier. Not sure what the cashier would have done to her from the other side of a counter in the middle of the lunchtime rush. She kept shooting sour looks at the cashier, at the husband, at her sons’ bottled drinks. None of them took a hint. At least she got her husband to double check that she’d would be getting a quesadilla with chicken and cheese and NO OTHER STUFF in it, though the fact that her family all got hotsauce for their own meals seemed to trouble her.

Diagnosis: Cowardly!


Bat Man

The bat is still here.

Sometimes she flies around the house, but mostly she hangs in the corner by the refrigerator.  I think it must be warmer in the kitchen and that is why she goes there.

She was in the bathroom the other night. I didn’t notice at first, but she flew out into the hall when I flushed the toilet. I hope I didn’t frighten her. I was embarrassed that I had gone to the bathroom in front of her, even if she is a bat.

I am pretty sure she is a female bat, because I get that impression. I’ve started leaving the back door open to see if she’ll leave, but she doesn’t. Maybe she leaves at night when I am asleep and comes back. I never see her eat. So maybe she does go out at night and eats. At least I hope so. Why does she come back?

I researched bats and found out usually they live in large groups. Sometimes thousands of bats will live in one cave! Did she used to live with other bats? Did they leave her behind? Or did she leave them? Maybe she is lost. I wish I could ask her.