Monthly Archives: November 2010

Thanksgiving Kimchi in 44 Easy Steps

I am home for Thanksgiving, that most American tradition of food, family, and fighting! It only follows that I would take part in another semi-traditional food/family/fighting endeavor: making some holiday Kimchi! My family (myself included) is rather attached to Strong Flavors, and kimchi has always fitted the Strong Flavor bill to a T. (To a tee?) For years, we enjoyed it store-bought (check out your friendly neighborhood Super H Mart) but it then occurred to my father that you can make this treat yourself. I had not taken part in this activity until today, but now I have.

Without further ado, I will give you my secret family recipe for making homemade kimchi at home! (NOTE: For context, check out my WAFFLES post!)

Ingredients:

  • 1 Huge Napa Cabbage (approx. the size of a one year old human child)
  • 1 Large white-ribbed pak choi (approx. the size of a mop head)
  • 1 Smaller pak choi that is green (larger than a hat?)
  • 5 or 7 green onions
  • 1 large daikon radish (the size of a forearm, hand removed)
  • 1 large Korean radish
  • 1 medium jicama
  • Some mustard greens (Like, 4?)
  • Some Swiss rainbow chard (one bunch)
  • 9 fresh red chili peppers
  • 1 Cup dried, ground red chiles
  • 4-5 Big spoonfuls of minced garlic
  • 12 cloves of peeled garlic
  • 1 can anchovies
  • 5 cups assorted sauces (anchovy sauce, sand lance sauce, premium fish sauce, oyster sauce)
  • Like-a-hand-full of sesame seeds
  • Some sesame oil
  • 1 chunk ginger root (1.5-2 big toes’ worth) (Also it’s technically a rhizome.)
  • A couple of tablespoons of white sugar.
  • A lot of sea salt
  • Enough water
  • Some baking soda

Continue reading

Bros. Hall at Wastey Hall

Lord Wastey handed his dripping overcoat to a footman, and his guests—Mr. and Mrs. Allens and Bernard and Buckley Hall, brothers and rivals—did likewise.

“A most impressive tour! Most impressive!” said Mr. Allens, and his wife nodded heartily.

She added, “It’s probably very pleasant when it isn’t raining quite so much.”

“Your gardens are a delight, Lord Wastey. Unsurpassed.” Bernard, the elder Hall, stepped in front of young Buckley as they made their way out of the ante-foyer and into the grand foyer. Buckley quickly overtook his brother and pulled up to the aging lord’s elbow.

“Lord Wastey! I don’t think I have ever seen such robust rhodedumdum—rhodemdum—rhodedrumdums—rhodrendre—“

“Rhododendrons,” finished Bernard. “Your rhododendrons, Lord Wastey, are a feast for the eyes. For the spirit, too.”

“Thank you, Bernard, you are too kind.” A bell rang somewhere deep in the manor and Lord Wastey blinked with pleasure. “Ah! That would be fourth tea!”

“Was that the fourth tea bell, Papa?” rang a voice, clear as another bell, from above.

Buckley turned in time to see a young woman in a forget-me-not blue dress come tripping lightly down the stairs. He rushed to her aid, but Bernard was already at her side when she hit the floor.  She had only sprained her wrist, so lightly had she tripped. Bernard lifted her to her feet with a flourish, and she blinked happily—so like her papa!

“Ah! I don’t believe you have met my daughter, Charlotte! Charlotte, this is Master Bernard Hall, and his younger brother”

“A pleasure,” Charlotte curtsied daintily. At just eighteen, she was a blushing rose, it seemed to Buckley, who was but nineteen himself. He stepped forward.

“My name is Bu—“

“You’ve dropped your handkerchief, Bucky.” Bernard had snatched it from his brother’s pocket on the sly; his favorite trick since boyhood. Buckley snatched it back with a look of hate.

“Bucky? How delicious! Charmed, Bucky.” Charlotte blinked and curtsied again. Lord Wastey, too, blinked as the second fourth tea bell rang, and led the party out of the grand foyer.

“Th-Thank you, Miss Wastey,” Bucky stuffed his handkerchief into his breast pocket. As he trailed after the vision in blue, Bernard cut him off.

“Handkerchief,” It was on the floor again. Continue reading

The Juicy Lucy

I saw this couple–
Really, a very attractive pair–
At Local Burger the other night.
They were gazing into one another’s eyes,
Their hands entwined
Around a single, dripping burger
Taking bites in turn
Really?
Really?
They paused and she wiped his moviestar chin,
Oil-beslicked,
With their napkin.
They sipped from their bottle of coke.
Rapturous lovers!
You make me sick!

What would you do without me?

Just a quick sketch. This was originally going to be captioned, ‘There’s no ‘I’ in ‘LOVE'” but that seemed a little too bitter!

Goodbye, October! So Long, Sun!

A Font of Poetries, to His Muse!

Ah!
Is it morning already? No??
Why!
My love, you are so radiant I had mistook you for the sun
Which shines, as it were, far above me!
Unattainable and yet I cannot help but stare
And, my love, I fear that I shall go blind in doing so
Like a Galileo, your poor Romeo!
But were it not fitting that I should go blind
For–as they say–you know,
LOVE is blind
So, like a blind man, shall I feel my way
Across these fertile hills and valleys?
Ah.
Not tonight?
You would refuse this poor beggardly blind fool
A small chaste kiss? Charity, maiden!
Alms!
A “sisterly” kiss? For a “novice” thou art
In the rites of love, I can see it in your blush, but fear not!
You are my own heart, which stands before me and yet
Beats within my breast–feel it, there.
And I, your heart…
Am there in yours! I feel it, ha!
Oh! Oh!
You wound me, lover.
Your ring has
Cut my brow.
I beg pardon. I shall away.

Tis the Season

Like the day after Halloween, I started seeing a ton of Christmas decorations, so I guess it is Christmas! Hardly an original observation on my part (that decorations come too early) but it has inspired a few Christmas poems! Also some non-Christmas poems. I have been a little busy the past week, but not too busy for these:

The Thought That Counts
Merry Christmas
I got you all my old WIRED magazines
And some New Yorkers, too.

Noel
Season’s Greetings!
Your debt has been repaid.
–The Morrissons

Stockings
Oranges
Pencils
An electric toothbrush
Soap shaped like my least favorite dinosaur
That was the morning I stopped believing Santa Claus
Was an alright guy

Simple
Because I love you
I’d give you anything you ask for
I love you because
You’d never ask for anything much!

You Rock!
Do what you love
Love what you do
Even if it’s really lame