Am I better than you because I bike to work?
Possibly not: For all I know, YOU bike to work, TOO!
I’m kidding, but that was just one Good Thing about Biking. So, aside from getting to be a smug ass, here is a personalized list of Good Things about biking:
-I know I am helping the environment with every mile I pedal.
-I am getting a solid cardio workout every day.
-I bike past a Coca-Cola Company bottling plant. The air there is redolent with the sweet and eerie scent of Minute Maid, Powerade, Fuze, and Vitamin Water, which churns in vats unseen beyond the factory gates. It’s a pleasantly weird effect, just passing by!
-My big legs are now big STRONG legs.
-I can enjoy the wonderful bike paths they have here.
-I can’t buy more than I can fit in my backpack, which saves money or something I guess!
-The wind in my hair!
The above list is used to hearten me, when I think of the list which follows below:
Bad Things about Biking:
-Boy, I look dumb! I’ve got my helmet (a surprising number of people don’t wear these things—CRAZY people!), my reflective vest, my pant-leg stuffed in my sock, a blinking red light on my bag, I’m all hunched forward, and I have a miserable, pained, determined look on my face.
-If I am biking with my friend Rory, I am actively aware that I have the same bike that he does…but smaller.
-I am sure I will die any—no—every second. Cars are big, fast, deadly, and plentiful.
-People shout at me! People in cars, people on the street. Why? Why do this? “YOW!” they might drunkenly whoop as I fly by; probably the whole looking-like-a-dingus thing. In one instance, a sweet little old lady forgot about her turn signal in an intersection and almost crashed into me. “YOU STUPID BITCH! YOU STUPID FUCKING BICYCLE-BITCH! STUPID, STUPID—“
-I come to work just plastered with sweat!
-I can only reasonably travel within a certain radius, making trips out of town difficult and possibly expensive.
-I am always cutting my legs up getting on and off the bike because I am a klutz!
-Ever biked in the rain?
-Ever biked in the dark?
-The hot hot sun??
-Will I even be able to bike in the New England snow? Maybe then I will borrow the family van while it is still mostly in one piece. I wonder if I will still be a better person than you if and when that time comes.