Monthly Archives: August 2010

A Case of Identity!

There are times when the curtain parts and we really get a glimpse of ourselves for what we are. When our real and our imagined selves come face to face across a sharp chasm, and we cannot turn away.

You wish you could.

You look around and see that every seat-like surface is covered in laundry. Covered in books. Covered in wires. Empty envelopes. Mostly covered in laundry.

You sit on the clear place in the middle of the floor. You begin to eat, as quickly as possible.

What are you eating? Peanut butter and English muffins. A can of kippers. Where did you even get kippers? Your mom sent them.

You’re eating them with a plastic spoon because your metal spoon is dirty.

It’s getting dark.  Since when was eating peanut butter so difficult? But you can’t stop now–you’ll be late to D&D.

AND THEN YOU REALIZE SOMETHING:

You are not a movie star after all, me!

On a side note!

I wasn’t posting for a while because my computer got a virus! Then I got a stomach bug! And now we’re cured but my drawing tablet is defunct, so no pictures for a while.

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R. Crumb: Quality vs Content!

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A Joke and Two Other Jokes

So there’s this bar, right? It’s by the harbor or something, because the bartender hears the door crash open and in out of the rain there comes this pirate. Like, a real buccaneer, looks like he might be a captain, the whole nine yards: Eye patch, hook-hand, peg-leg—been through a lot. But this bartender sees pirates every day. It’s that kind of a bar. No, what catches his eye is the fact that this particular pirate captain has a ship’s wheel tucked into the front of his trousers.

The captain takes a seat (awkwardly, thanks to the wheel) at the bar and orders a rum, it goes without saying. After a few minutes, the bartender finally can’t stand it anymore and just has to ask him—he says,

“I’m sorry, cap’n, but I just have to ask—why do have that ship’s wheel tucked in your trousers?”

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A new portrait!

My friend Emma. A little more cartoony than my last couple, but fun!

Rainbows are Pretty

So, rainbows are a pretty popular theme. They are a great way of using a bunch of crayons at once. They are an effective symbol for queer rights.

That aside, everybody’s off the mark. The rainbows we see on cutesy t-shirts, ironic t-shirts, children’s t-shirts, indie band t-shirts, all over the internet, on kids’ and hip young adults’ room dressings and school supplies, etc etc etc is about as representative of a rainbow as a lion rampant is representative of an actual lion.

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The Time I Hit My Head And Died

When I was in the 9th grade, I hit my head on a sharp shelf. I left my dorm—this was boarding school—and made my way to the health center. Was the skin broken?? A nurse parted my hair this way and that and inspected the point of impact. They told me it was just a bump, gave me some painkillers, and sent me on my way.

The next day, I felt fine. I felt great! Went to class, hung out with my little friends, checked out the student message-board (a real one, with slats and tacks and stuff), and there I saw there was a note for me:

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Coffee! Campari! A load of poems.

So the other night, my friend Emma and I went to a funky coffeeshop for some coffee and hot chocolate, respectively. I had brought my notebook and a demand! “Give me prompts! I want to write POEMS!”

No time for conversation! Only prompts!

“I burned my tongue” She said sadly.

“Okay! Here we go!” And I wrote a poem.

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