What is my greatest weakness? Fear. I am vastly strong. It is only fear, that most pitiable of human emotions (next to pity), that prevents me from exercising my strength to its fullest extent.
Example: Today I got myself a large cup of coffee from Dunkin Donuts. It occurred to me how very easy it would be to crush the thing in my powerful grasp. And yet I did not! I feared it would scald my hand as it had scalded my tongue. I feared that it would get all over my clothes. That I would lose my coffee, and by extension the money I invested in that coffee. That I would lose the respect of my co-workers! Coward that I am, I could not crush a flimsy, defensless styrofoam cup on a mighty whim.
Perhaps some day I will be braver, bolder, and burnt.
Readers: What is YOUR weakness??
Stick Fighting. Head Tag. Helmet Wars. We haven’t named it yet, but a couple of my friends and I have a new game, which might just be the….
Continuation of Old Bear, Illustrated.
“Well?” Old Bear was very, very excited. Her old gray hide was twitching with anticipation. “What is your Condition, young one? Tell, tell!”
Jamie crossed his arms. “Alright, Old Bear. Like I said, I will climb in your old wet mouth on One Condition: You must let me bring my Ten Fat Friends.”
There was a pregnant pause. Old Bear peered at Jamie with suspicion. “Go on.” Continue reading
“Climb inside my mouth, young one,” the Old Bear said.
The boy peered into the Old Bear’s mouth. Her tongue was as big as a big wet bed. Her teeth were like traffic cones. Some were missing. The boy then asked her, “How do I know you won’t just swallow me up, Old Bear?”
“How do you know I will?” laughed the Old Bear. She had a point, but Jamie didn’t trust her, not quite. Jamie was the name of the boy, you see. The Old Bear had no name.
“I suppose I don’t, Old Bear,” Jamie said, examining the Old Bear’s lips—black like a dog’s, and thick as his arm—and feeling the hot air rolling out of her. “I suppose I don’t. But you’re certainly capable of it, aren’t you? You could swallow me up and not even blink an eye!” Her eyes were each as large as his head, but piggy-small for her size. They watched him start to draw away.
I used to draw a lot of cartoon interpretations of craigslist personals! This is one of them. I should pick this habit up again, I think. Here are a few more of my old craigslist drawings!
A portrait OF Thurop Van Orman, FOR him, AT his request! Drawn by ME last summer. He is the creator of a hilarious cartoon I enjoy, The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack!